This Year, Visiting Santa is Like Visiting Your Uncle in Prison Upstate
Santa 2.0
I never thought visiting Santa could be compared to taking a trip to see your black sheep uncle in prison upstate, but this year is granting us the opportunity to live our wildest reality.
This weekend, we booked a photoshoot with Santa. It will be my daughter’s third photo with Santa but first separated by plexiglass.
She won’t be sitting on his lap. Instead, she’ll wave to him through a see-through plastic divider that will likely be wiped down with a commercial-grade cleanser between children.
Santa, like your drunk uncle, will be sitting helplessly behind glass, waving good cheer and whatever else he has back there. My wife and I are trying to figure out how to explain this new reality to our toddler.
So far, here’s what I came up with:
Santa has a cold
Innocently enough, Santa is taking a precaution to sit behind the plexiglass to ensure all he spreads this holiday season is Christmas cheer. Having this divider will keep all of the children safe so they can enjoy Christmas morning without a runny nose or fever.
Santa is shy
Sometimes, Santa needs some distance. Delivering toys to every girl and boy takes a tool. Having the divider will give Santa the space he needs this year to mentally prepare for his big night of deliveries.
The Forcefield of Christmas Cheer
The transparent plastic wall is actually a forcefield used to capture Christmas cheer that Santa uses to fuel his sleigh on Christmas Eve. The more you talk and tell Santa what toys you want, the more the forcefield gets filled with Christmas cheer.
In Conclusion
I think Santa has a cold this year.
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